just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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