is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize