Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
