stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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