You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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