Swine flu. Run for my life!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
