i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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