'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
