I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i think my cat just said my name.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
