I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
