so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
