I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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