My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
