I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
