He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
