Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize