It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
