please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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