so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
