O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
