now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Fuck appropriateness.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think people are normalizing furries
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
