she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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