Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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