We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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