We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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