Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize