everyone is single if you try hard enough
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize