ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
