Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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