i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
