I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
