____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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