their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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