is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
