You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
