trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
