Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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