I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
