How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
