Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
