Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
