We're like a lot better than the average bears
Someone shit on the floor
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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