yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize