you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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