I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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