I smell stomach acid.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can I color on your dick again?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
