I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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