only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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