I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sorry about my life...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
