Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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