Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize