Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
