just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
you made out with another girl for some wings
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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