it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
