dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
