his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
