Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
