Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
